Making friends as an adult can be challenging and daunting. This may seem strange given that adults have decades of experience in making friends. But there is a host of reasons why making friends as an adult is so hard.
Unlike when we were kids – where making friends was as easy as sharing a toy or playing together during recess – the process of making friends as an adult is more complicated. Adults are often busy with work, family, and other responsibilities, leaving them with little time to socialize and form new connections.
Additionally, adults may have a harder time trusting others and may be more selective about who they spend their time with.
One of the biggest reasons why making friends as an adult is so hard is that adults often have fewer opportunities to meet new people. Unlike in school, where you’re surrounded by peers of the same age and interests, adults must actively seek out opportunities to socialize. This can be challenging, especially for those who are introverted or socially anxious.
Moreover, adults may be hesitant to put themselves out there and risk rejection, which can further complicate the process of making new friends.
Let’s also not forget that people’s priorities and interests change over time. As we age, our social needs and preferences may shift, making it harder to connect with others who share our interests and values. Adults may be more set in their ways and less open to new experiences, making it harder to form new friendships.
Despite these challenges, it is completely possible to make amazing new friends as an adult. It’s also supremely important – particularly for men who are experiencing loneliness.
Challenges of Adult Friendships
Making friends as an adult can be challenging due to a variety of factors. Here are just some of the common challenges:
Lack of Social Structures
Unlike school or college, adults do not have social structures that facilitate making friends. In school, students have shared experiences such as classes, extracurricular activities, and sports teams that help forge friendships. However, once people enter the workforce, they don’t have as many opportunities to meet new people (especially if they work from home).
Busy Schedules
Adults often have busy schedules due to work and family obligations, leaving little time for socializing. According to an article in The Conversation, “the demands of work, family, and other commitments make it difficult to find the time to meet new people and nurture existing relationships.” As a result, people may not have the energy or time to invest in making new friends.
Different Life Stages
As people age, they go through different life stages that can affect their ability to make friends. For example, someone who is married with children may find it challenging to relate to someone who is single and childless. Similarly, someone who is retired may not have much in common with someone who is still in the workforce.
These differences in life stages can create barriers to forming friendships.
Psychological Factors
Making friends as an adult can be challenging due to psychological factors. Two of the most common psychological factors that make it hard to make friends as an adult are the fear of rejection and social rustiness.
Fear of Rejection
Many adults fear rejection, which can make it difficult for them to initiate conversations or form new friendships. This fear can stem from past experiences, such as being rejected by peers during childhood or adolescence. As a result, adults may avoid social situations or hesitate to approach potential friends, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Social Rustiness
Another psychological factor that can make it hard to make friends as an adult is rustiness.
Adults who haven’t had much social interaction or have not made new friends in a while may struggle to pick up on social cues or engage in meaningful conversations. In other words, they’re rusty. They may also feel awkward or uncomfortable in social situations, which can make it challenging to form new connections.
Changing Friendship Dynamics
As people age, their priorities and lifestyles change, which can affect their ability to make and maintain friendships. Here are some of the ways that friendship dynamics change as people transition into adulthood:
Shifts in Priorities
As people grow older, their priorities often shift from socializing to other responsibilities such as work, family, and personal interests. This can make it harder for adults to find time to meet new people and maintain existing friendships.
According to a study published in Psychology Today, “adults may have less time for socializing due to career and family obligations, which can make it harder to develop and maintain friendships.”
Relocation and Mobility
Another factor that can make it difficult for adults to form and maintain friendships is relocation and mobility. As people move to new cities or countries for work or personal reasons, they may have to leave behind their existing social networks and start over in a new place. This can be especially challenging for introverted individuals who may have a harder time meeting new people.
Additionally, frequent moves can make it difficult to establish long-term friendships as people may not stay in one place long enough to form deep connections.
Opportunities for Making Friends
Making friends as an adult can be challenging, but it is definitely not impossible. There are several opportunities that adults can take advantage of to form new friendships. Here are some ways to meet new people and build meaningful connections:
Community Involvement
Getting involved in the community is an excellent way to meet new people who share similar interests. Adults can volunteer for local organizations, attend community events, or join neighborhood groups. By engaging in community activities, individuals can build a sense of belonging and establish connections with others.
Workplace Connections
The workplace is another great place to meet new people and form friendships. Adults can take advantage of team-building activities, attend work-related events, or participate in after-work social gatherings. By interacting with colleagues outside of work, individuals can build stronger relationships and establish a support system.
Hobbies and Interests
Joining a club or group that shares similar hobbies or interests is a great way to meet new people. Whether it’s joining a book club, taking a cooking class, or participating in a sports league, adults can find activities that they enjoy and connect with others who share the same passion. By engaging in activities that they love, individuals can build meaningful friendships and create a sense of community.
Strategies for Building Friendships
Here are a few strategies that can help you build friendships as an adult:
Taking Initiative
One of the most effective ways to build new friendships is by taking the initiative to start a conversation or make plans. Yes, YOU might have to take the initiative. YOU might have to be the proactive one.
This can be as simple as striking up a conversation with a colleague at work or asking a neighbor to grab a coffee. By taking the first step, you show that you are interested in getting to know the other person and are willing to put in the effort to build a relationship.
Consistent Effort
Building a friendship takes time and effort. It is important to consistently make time for the other person and show that you value their friendship. This can be as simple as sending a text message to check in or making plans to hang out regularly.
By consistently showing up and being present, you demonstrate that you are committed to the friendship.
Being Open and Vulnerable
Building a deep and meaningful friendship requires vulnerability. It is important to be open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can be scary, but it is necessary for building trust and intimacy. By sharing your true self with the other person, you create a safe space for them to do the same.
The Role of Technology
Technology has revolutionized the way people communicate and interact with each other. While it has made it easier to stay in touch with friends and family, it has also had a significant impact on how people form new relationships.
Social Media
Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have made it easier to connect with people from all over the world. However, they have also made it easier for people to maintain superficial relationships with a large number of people, rather than developing deep and meaningful friendships with a smaller group of people.
Additionally, social media platforms are cesspools of hate, hostility, and negativity. They can be extremely bad for the human psyche and exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Conclusion
Indeed, making friends as an adult can be a challenging task. It requires effort, time, and patience.
People’s priorities change as they grow older, making it harder to find time for socializing. Becoming more selective about who they spend their time with and the impact of technology on social skills can also make it harder to make new friends.
However, with persistence and an open mind, you can definitely form meaningful connections with others.